It would be hard to have  witnessed the presidential debate last night and not need recovery time. Even, if how ludicrous it seemed gave us a bit of entertainment. It would be hard to endure what we experienced last week and countless times before it (an unjust verdict for the murder of a Black Woman), and not need rest time. It would be hard to continue to process the unfolding of 2020, thus far,  and not need reflective time. For me, writing has often encompassed rest, recovery, and reflection. Here’s how and what I’m still processing. What are you processing today (because what you don’t intentionally release stays in your body and nervous system until you do)? Productivity can wait, but your well-being cannot. 

Still Processing America’s Entitlement Toward Black Women …

America, why do you feel so entitled to the labor, creativity, and emotional warmth of Black Women, that when Black Women move to the rhythm of their inner guidance, you accuse them of lacking the very things that you feel so entitled to?

America, why do you feel so entitled to the bodies of Black Women? From slavery to modern day eugenics, you take so freely and are then outraged by the boundaries that Black Women are fortifying against you.

America, why do you feel so entitled to the intellect of Black Women, that you scout us to gather all the answers, yet expect to be the front line receiver for the recognition, compensation, and legacy that are results of such gathered answers?

America, our hidden figures are continuing to be uncovered. We’ve known for centuries that you’ve never been able to keep your eyes on your own paper.

America, why do you feel so entitled to possess Black Women that you masquerade chemically filled products our way as ‘natural’, and will even go out of your own way to use labels that imitate what you believe are our Black “standards” for hair and skincare?

America, perhaps you didn’t get the memo but Black Women are not interested in your cancer causing, fibroid(s)triggering products.

America, why do you feel so entitled to profit off of Black Women that you continue to insert your being in spaces, in attempt to believe that you have a role of influence in how we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves?

America, why do you feel so entitled to the emotions of Black Women that you become egregious when we’re not smiling enough for you?

America, why do you feel so entitled to the voices of Black Women that if it’s not being used to entertain or uplift you, you attempt to moderate our tone and cadence of speech?

America, your insecurities are there in the presence of confidence exuded by Black Women when we speak, and your insecurities are there when we are silent.

America, you know very well that a Black Woman’s silence is never passive. There’s infusion of vision, strategy, and grace in our silence. This scares you, America.

America, why do you feel so entitled to how spirituality is expressed in and through Black Women? It’s disturbing for you that what you try so hard to seek, we tap into like a Divine impulse on speed dial.

America, it seems disturbing for you that you can’t catch our flow. It’s disturbing for you what we financially gross when we’re unhindered. It’s disturbing for you when we take control of our true narratives and we master our own minds and bodies.

America, the liberty of Black Women is disturbing for you, huh?

America, why are you so entitled in your expectation to be mothered by Black Women? Maybe, it’s because we were forced to nurse you during slavery that we became your attachment figure. Perhaps, the attention you extend in trying to engulf us, can be redirected toward you healing your own wounds that your ‘forefathers’ left you. You, Racist America.

America, why do you feel so entitled to the legal authority of deciphering the value of the lives of Black Women? So much so, that you prioritized charges for shells that hit the neighbor’s walls over justice for an innocent Black Woman who was murdered.

America, you disregarded who Breonna Taylor was and what she would have become through her own actualization. If you’re confused, check out her last 2020 social media post.

Yet, America…Breonna Taylor is somebody and children of Black Women will be taught to say her name and we will never forget.

America, embedded in your DNA is a longing to own Black Women in body and soul; for Black Women to be subservient to you. You’d sooner like to see Black Women dead, then to deal with our audacity to let you know your own place in this global world.

America, in your DNA there is a thrill of a chase to capture Black Women, to paint a picture of how much Black Women need you. When the frightening truth for you is, Black Women have never needed you. We’ve always been the ones to rehabilitate you; to make something for ourselves even when starting with the nothing you gave us.

This has been your lesson on the relationship between Black Women and America. And if you’re not a Black Women, ask yourself, “Have I bought into America’s conditioning to be so entitled toward Black Women (often expecting so much of them and giving little in return)?”

If yes, then what will you do you to unravel the conditioning of your own entitlement?

Perhaps, this is one of the longer standing ways of honoring the life of Breonna Taylor and the countless of Black Women before her whose lives tragically ended in the hands of America. As well as for existing Black Women who are not settling for anything less than revolutionary change.

Because in case you didn’t get the memo, the black girl magic of Black Women are not yours to profit off of.

Black Women, it’s okay for us to rest. If America continues to fall apart as we catch our breath and take some time to recover, we at least we know it’s in our DNA to start anew. Our physical (and reproductive) labor built America.

Carmelle Ellison, LCSW

I help high-achieving adults, especially in the BIPOC community live authentically wholesome lives via telehealth therapy throughout California.


Unraveling the Root Cause of Perfectionism: A Closer Look at ADHD

Perfectionism, a trait that compels individuals to strive for flawlessness, sets high-performance standards and is often accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations. While it may seem like a desirable quality, perfectionism can...

Is Virtual Trauma Therapy Effective?

In the digital age, the world of mental health therapy has evolved significantly. The advent of teletherapy or online therapy has made it possible for individuals to access mental health services from the comfort of their homes. This development has been particularly...