Relationships can be bright and full of adventure, but in the moments where you find yourself “missed”…you know, those moments where you reach out your hand and your partner isn’t on-time to grasp it with theirs? Those moments can make relationships feel really challenging. It’s never really about who left the dirty dishes in sink, who forgot to contact the sitter, or even who finds themselves doing most of the planning at the face of transitions.
This is where I come in. Wherever you are, I help you move past these distractions, in order to help you notice the patterns in your relationship that’s causing you fear, anxiety, confusion, frustration, and is leaving you dissatisfied. Then, I help you face that panic button that sets off when you’re not feeling emotionally connected to your partner; when you’re feeling unheard, unseen, not valued, and even misunderstood.
Out of this panic, you might respond by trying to pull and hold on too tightly. Or you might withdraw from your partner, rationalizing reasons why. Both responses are problematic, because your partner may feel like “nothing” they do is ever good enough. Or they might minimize what’s happening; even shutdown at the face of their own panic. And for the two of you, this creates a sense of loneliness that leads to questions like, “Why is this such a big deal? Can I really count on this person to have my back? Is this worth it?”
Here comes the “wrongs” being magnified. Then, the trust issues, the issues of vulnerability, and depending on your background, attachment style issues might show up due to emotional wounds or past traumas. If you get stuck here, you won’t be able to see beyond it. I help you get unstuck, so you can effectively fight for the relationship that you want. Beyond the communication issues and overwhelming emotions, is you and your partner yearning in your own ways to be accepted unconditionally, and loved securely.
You two want to know that even in the midst of insecurities and troubles, you are accessible to each other. That you can let out your hand and partner’s hand will be there. You two want to feel like the other is responsive to your needs. You want to know that your thoughts, emotions, and experiences matter. Even when you’re not showing up as your best self, you want reassurance that you are “not too much” to be loved. The sense of engagement where your partner shows that they desire you and that you are valued helps you heal, gives you comfort, and can inspire you both to strive for a healthier relationship. There’s always room for growth, and I help you see where that room is.
There, we will increase and strengthen the emotional bonds of your relationship, by helping you two become more attentive to each other’s needs and how to better tackle challenges as a team. I’ll also show you how to watch out for those blocks to listening (you know, like mind-reading for our partner; assuming that we know how they’re feeling and what they’re thinking, which never makes us feel good in the end). I’ll also help you set boundaries that are good for you individually and for the health of the team. So, let’s get started. You two can do this and with my experience, I will help you.