The Transition We’ve All Been Waiting For

Depression and Anxiety, Perfectionism, Trauma Recovery for High-Achievers

It’s the last day of 2020, and perhaps you haven’t allowed yourself to fully recognize how much good your body has done this year. You survival this year has truly been enough. You showed up for yourself the best you knew how, even when access to usual sources of self-care were challenged. There is no hierarchy for how one was meant to cope in 2020 [still looking for that manual on to survive a pandemic]. 

Thus, you can relieve yourself of any pressure to create action plans for New Year’s Eve or even New Year’s Day. It’s possible that your body is still wanting to slow down and recover. The constant exposure of trauma and uncertainty brought on by 2020 will take some time to heal from. So this blog post is unlike previous blog posts from this past year. Rather than sharing new content for you to digest, I’m instead sending you all wishes for a safe, intentional, and rejuvenating New Year. The “May you” wishes are also  “May we” wishes. 

While in the digital community during this ongoing pandemic, may we continue to honor the fullness of our humanity and the integrity that is our very own healing processes. Heal on. Grieve on. Shrink Not. See yourself. Step into the fullness of your body. As always, take what applies and leave the rest behind. 

In 2021:

May you uncover sources of shame and fear that pressure you to make movement, when what you truly need is rest and recovery.

May you embrace unity without betraying yourself, your voice, or integrity.

May your self-determination help you honor what it is you want for yourself and not what you believe you have to live up to for others.

May you truly forgive yourself this time.

May you choose courage over familiarity.

May you discontinue asking yourself, “Can I?” and instead prompt yourself to discover the ingredients you need to see your vision through.

May you let go of the pride of having carried suffering well, and instead allow yourself help in processing and healing from your wounds.

May you learn how to repair ruptures in relationships that deeply matter to you so that idealized perfection doesn’t cause you to cancel folx out or overextend yourself in efforts of avoiding conflicts.

May you learn to differentiate between source of Spirit and source of unhealed wounds.

May your thoughts be a source of consult to your life and not the manager of your life.

May you intend to find in each day ordinary moments that confirm that you are a whole human being with multi-dimensional parts worthy of acceptance.

May you no longer treat your body nor your emotions as inconveniences. 

May you get out the boxes that your defense strategies create for you.

May you dare to hold hope even on foggy and rainy days [and may faith meet you there].

May you learn to experience time as a pulse and not as a distant reality, because what you can’t “earn back” is time.

May you no longer take your health for granted.

May you cultivate self-discipline that is not absent of self-compassion.

May you continue grieving and recovering for as long as you need.

May you find alignment to what you deeply desire.

May you be relieved of isolation through safely cultivated spaces of vulnerability.

May you allow yourself to be a receiver and not just a giver of good care.

May you choose authentic power over performative power. 

May you embrace the fullness of what it means to be human and may empathy help you along the road. 



Carmelle Ellison, LCSW

I help high-achieving adults, especially in the BIPOC community live authentically wholesome lives via telehealth therapy throughout California.


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