We’re human. We’re complex. And so is trauma. So, are the knotting effects on the everyday lives of its Survivors. Sometimes, one can hear of trauma and immediately think to abuses, assaults, horrific accidents and tragedies. Meanwhile, it’s common to overlook the traumas that aren’t easily visible on the outside. Especially, on those who are high achieving.
It’s sometimes hard to even recognize what you might not have considered to be trauma. After all, it seemed so “normal” while in it, but normal doesn’t always mean healthy. Our bodies know this.
The small “t” traumas matter too and here are some signs:
• A childhood history of having been expected to be overly independent. Now, as an adult, you have trouble learning how to rely on others in relationship. You have difficulty asking for what you want or need for fear of it being “too much” or a burden on others. Sometimes, there’s even confusion on what your needs and wants are.
• You’re a people pleaser, because pleasing others feels safer than having them possibly become “angry” at you, if you say “no”. So, you carry the burden of often being the “Reliable One” even when your body says “no”.
• You want a lasting committed relationship, but you don’t know how to be in one. Romantic relationships cause things to surface in you that makes you pull on too tightly out of insecurities, or run out of fear of getting hurt. So, you self sabotage because your fear of being happy is just as high as fear of failure.
• In relationship with your parents, you often had to be the adult way before you became an actual adult. You made space for their overwhelming emotions and behaviors, which meant tucking away yours. And they seemed to like it that way. Now, it feels safer to go “unseen” in social spaces, even when there’s a part of you that longs to be seen.
The Big “T” traumas and its signs:
• When you feel like your body has betrayed you, and it can no longer be trusted.
• Unwanted intrusive thoughts show up and cause you to feel like you’re functioning, but you’re not really present. They overstay their welcome and bring friends called flashbacks, body sensations, and anxiety.
• When it feels like the painful past is happening in real-time and your emotions and your body remind you of what you try so hard to forget. I’d like to think of it as the body’s plea for healing.
What the Big “T” and Little “t” traumas have in common:
Both can cause pain and imprints on our memories. So, making the mental decision to “put the past behind” you is not enough to unhook yourself from the impact of trauma.
Here’s what’s possible despite trauma:
One of the most beautiful things that I get to witness as a therapist who also specializes in trauma recovery, is when clients encounter their essence. The radiant part of themselves that’s often buried under traumatic effects, but is a breath of fresh air for them when they do the necessary work to heal.
I want to help you clean out the wounds of trauma, regardless of where you’re starting from. So, that you can have access to the life you might not have recognized as possible, prior to working with me. A healthier, more wholesome life.
In our sessions you will:
• Learn how to build confidence and cultivate safety for yourself.
• Be aided in unblocking and reprocessing repressed thoughts, memories, and emotions.
• Learn how the body carries the wounds of trauma and how to become more securely embodied.
• Set healthy boundaries, while challenging imposed guilt and shame.
Begin to live a healthier, more wholesome life by reaching out below for support.